Thanksgiving is traditionally a day of family, food, and football—but shouldn’t it be more than that?  There are two critical words in Thanksgiving: thanks and giving. It is a time to give thanks. Instead, the four-day weekend has morphed into a food-fest that marks the kickoff to the holiday shopping season.

It’s tempting to succumb to the hustle and bustle that surrounds the holiday, but with a little intention, you can keep your focus where it belongs—on gratitude.

Gratitude Isn’t Stressful

Most women will attest that the week prior to Thanksgiving is stressful. We may have to make travel arrangements, do the grocery shopping, clean the house, prepare for houseguests, set the table, bake, and so much more. The joy and the gratitude of the holiday immediately seep out the cracks of our lives, and what started out as a fun idea—host Thanksgiving dinner—turns into a stressful chore.

But this whole system runs counter to the true spirit of the holiday—gratitude and joy. Gratitude is a deep sense of appreciation that leaves us feeling warm and blessed. (See The Gift of Gratitude.) Unfortunately, if our attention is on lumpy mashed potatoes or upcoming Black Friday sales, it’s easy to miss that feeling of gratitude. But people who maintain the true focus of Thanksgiving know a secret—gratitude tastes more delicious than pumpkin pie.

Take Back Thanksgiving

You don’t have to give anything up to put the thanks back into Thanksgiving. You may choose to spend your four-day weekend traveling to see family, skiing, watching football, or simply gorging on turkey, mashed potatoes, and pie. If you love these things, by all means, continue to do them—just do them from a place of gratitude.

Try these tips for having a truly thankful Thanksgiving:

• Plan ahead. By preparing food ahead of time, you’ll give yourself some breathing room and relieve some of the pressure of the holiday. Stock ingredients in advance and prepare your table several days early. You’ll be thankful that you don’t have to scramble around at the last minute.
• Delegate. You don’t have to do it all. In fact, part of the joy of the Thanksgiving meal is sharing in the preparation. Everyone wants to contribute—so let them. We all take satisfaction in knowing that we have something to share.
• Establish an attitude of gratitude. Create a build-up of gratitude in your home in the weeks preceding the holiday. Some families place a gratitude jar in a central location, along with slips of paper. Throughout the week, family members jot down things for which they are grateful and drop them in the jar. At the Thanksgiving meal, they empty the jar and read the gratitude statements.
• Share. Many people are alone for the holidays. Invite a neighbor or elderly person to share Thanksgiving with you. You’ll feel good and so will they.
• Volunteer. Thanksgiving is an excellent time to be of service. Most soup kitchens are inundated with volunteers on Thanksgiving day, but consider sharing your time or services elsewhere—or on the day after Thanksgiving when many people are preoccupied with Christmas shopping.

Whatever your Thanksgiving tradition, remember to enjoy the holiday and focus on all that you have to be grateful for—family, friends, health, food, community, and more. That feeling of gratitude is likely to spill over to the next day and the next. Before you know it, it will feel like Thanksgiving every day.