Teaching your child to deal with a bully.

Bullying is an ongoing problem in schoolyards worldwide. Unfortunately, there will always be bullies—and these bullies typically grow up to be bullies in the workplace. We may not always be able to avoid bullies, but we can empower our kids to cope with the bullies they encounter.

Bully-proof your child by teaching them these strategies:

• Avoid the bully. This is sometimes easier said than done—but it’s not impossible. If the bully plays basketball at lunch, perhaps your child can choose tetherball. If the bully is in Boy Scouts, maybe your child would be better served by joining a different extracurricular activity or switching Boy Scout groups.
• Use the buddy system. Bullies often work by isolating their victims. Teach your child to buddy up in the hallways, at recess, on the bus, etc.
• Ignore the bully. Bullies often want a reaction. Teach your child to ignore hurtful remarks and walk away. Eventually, the bully might get bored.
• Tell an adult. If your child is being bullied at school, encourage them to enlist the help of a teacher, principal, staff, or even another parent.
• Remove incentives. If the bully wants lunch money, have your child bring a sack lunch. If the bully is after an iPod, it stays at home.
• Talk about it. Encourage your child to confide in a school counselor, teacher, or friend. Your child needs to know that he/she has support—and they often don’t want to confide in their own parent.
• Develop a poker face. This may take practice at home. Kids who are being bullied get pushed to the edge and often react with anger or tears. This only fuels a bully. Practice cool-down strategies with your child, such as counting to 10, taking deep breaths, or walking away.
• Do not fight back. Advise your child to hold their temper and resist the urge to fight back. Things can quickly escalate into violence.